Making breath play safe and sexy

By gently placing a hand on either side of your partner’s throat, or carefully covering their mouth, the small decrease in oxygen sends their adrenaline pumping – making the excitement and gratification of the moment that much more intoxicating. Erotic asphyxiation, also known as breath play, is a form of BDSM play where one partner deliberately restricts the other's ability to breathe for sexual arousal and pleasure. It may sound daring and thrilling, but it's essential to approach breath play with caution and responsibility – which will only increase the excitement.

Safety first

Breath play is not a game for amateurs or for those who don't fully understand its risks. The key word here is “asphyxiation”, and messing with your body’s oxygen supply is no laughing matter. It's essential to be aware of the potential dangers and to take all necessary precautions.

Breath play typically involves methods such as light choking, using hands or restraints, or even the use of specific devices designed for this purpose. Communication is absolutely crucial here. Both partners need to have a deep level of trust and a clear understanding of each other's boundaries. When you’re discussing your boundaries before engaging in breath play, devise a safety word or gesture to ensure that things don’t go too far – and only engage in breath play with a trusted partner. Remember that consent and communication should always be top priorities in any BDSM activity.

What is breath play like?

People who engage in breath play often describe heightened sensations, increased arousal, and strong feelings of vulnerability and trust. It can be an intense and intimate experience when done safely and consensually. For some people, the mere thought of having their partner choke them is arousing, while others prefer having a hand covering their nose and mouth, restricting their breathing. This restriction of airflow is brief – not prolonged – and sometimes includes compression of the neck or chest, either with tight clothing, body parts such as hands and fingers, or even items like pillows or the heavy body of a partner.

People who participate in breath play report feeling increased levels of trust with their partner, finding choking to be erotic, gaining pleasure from the risk of breath play, or the feeling of panic and then relief, and increased intensity of orgasm. Physically, what’s happening to your body is that endorphins are released when your airflow is resumed and you start to be able to breathe normally again – which, combined with the hormones released during a sexual encounter, can give you a bit of an erotic high.

Dabbling in breath play

For a lot of people, just the thought of being choked is a turn-on – they don’t even need to actually go so far as to restrict airflow, so role playing breath play can enhance sexual pleasure, too. Pretending to choke a partner can feel just as erotic as actually doing the deed, so it’s a safer way to start exploring the realm of breath play.

Many people who are interested in breath play discover that what they’re actually attracted to is the feeling of power and control, or dominance, over someone – or the feeling of submission and vulnerability of the partner whose airflow is being restricted. It’s worth exploring other kinks where dominance and submission are a big part of the thrill, especially if one partner is keen to try breath play but the other is more reluctant. Build trust, communicate, role play, and try other related kinks like bondage to see if you feel more comfortable.

Risky business

Breath play has a bit of a mixed reputation, as it can be extremely dangerous. Oxygen deprivation can be dangerous and even life-threatening if it’s taken to extremes. That's why education and experience are essential if you're considering exploring erotic asphyxiation. Many experts recommend consulting with a knowledgeable and experienced BDSM practitioner or attending workshops to learn the proper techniques and safety measures.

“Autoerotic asphyxiation” is when breath play is a solo effort, and unfortunately, this can have fatal consequences, as it’s difficult to gauge when to stop when you’re the one doing both the choking and the being choked. If you’re planning to practice some breath play solo, please make sure you are as safe as possible.

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