Take the words out of my mouth

What happens when you take away the ability to speak? The eyes, hands, and other body parts need to do the talking – and this is only one way gagging can be a fun fetish to play with in the bedroom. Stifling a moan or asserting dominance, gagging can be achieved with a humble hand or something a bit more robust, like a silken scarf. While always making sure the recipient can breathe comfortably, gagging is a fun way to play with restriction.

Safety first!

While the idea of wearing a gag during a sensual encounter can be a bit unsettling, think of it as a fun sex toy that’s designed to increase your connection – physical and emotional – and enhance the experience you’re having together. Gags create a clear understanding between partners of who is the Dominant (Dom) and who is the submissive (sub) in the scenario. Gags are a visual, visible, and physical reminder of who is in charge – and for the person wearing the gag, not being able to speak can be a powerful turn-on.

It's important to remember that, as with all BDSM play, gagging must be consensual and enthusiastically agreed upon by both parties involved. If you or your partner is reluctant, don’t force the issue – you might prefer to play with a gentle hand as a gag rather than a scarf or ball gag to start, or let your partner place your hand over their mouth when they feel comfortable (leaving it up to them to decide when the time feels right).

Gagging should never be tight enough to restrict airflow or cause unbearable discomfort. The person being gagged always needs a safe signal so that they can indicate if things become too much, and if they use this signal, their partner should immediately cease and help them to become comfortable again.

Kinds of gags

While the humble silken scarf tied around the head is an easy do-it-yourself gag option, there are a number of gags on the market should you choose to invest. Smaller, adjustable bit gags can be worn for longer without as much discomfort, or small ball gags are a good way to begin – check out the sizes and find one that is made for beginners. O-ring gags are also fun to play with. There are other types of gags for the more experienced and adventurous, but it’s important to remember that they are not one-size-fits-all, and you may need to experiment to find something that works for you. We definitely don’t recommend gagging someone by putting tape over their mouth – this can damage the delicate and sensitive skin on your lips and face.

You should know…

Something you might not have realized is that gags can cause drooling, as having a gag in your mouth means you aren’t able to swallow as easily. Also, while gag play is great fun, you do need to limit it so you’re not restricting yourself for too long too often – experts recommend not wearing a ball gag in particular for longer than 20 minutes at a time, because your jaw muscles can become fatigued very quickly. So set a timer and count down the naughty play. And remember, a key part of being a Dominant is to check in with your submissive and ensure they’re comfortable and okay to keep proceeding – consent is a sexy inclusion in gag play.

Talk it over afterward

Since the person wearing the gag isn’t able to communicate verbally during the experience, it’s a good idea to have a post-gag chat about their experience, what they enjoyed, and anything they might like to do differently this time. This can set the scene for the next gagging experience and bring you even closer together.

‍