Tickle me
Sexual tickling, also known as “knismolagnia”, is a kink in which, you guessed it, someone derives sexual gratification through tickling. While it can be extremely common in private, it is rarely discussed online or even casually among friends. Likely, due to the embarrassment associated with admitting publicly that tickling turns people on! Whether tickling is something you utilize often in the bedroom or it’s something you’ve never even thought to try, here’s a deep-dive into all things tickling!
Here comes the Tickle Monster!
The most common (and widely accepted) practice for tickling is enjoyed innocently by infants and children to make each other laugh and bond. Through teenage years and into early adulthood, tickling is used as a way to flirtatiously touch a crush or new partner. So why is it that tickling in a sexual manner makes people squeamish? Probably due to the fact that tickling is seen as a childlike act, as we get older, we’re told to let go of childish things and move onto “adult stuff”, so bringing silliness into the bedroom can feel juvenile. But that’s the point! Erotic tickling can be amusing and just downright silly – not words you often hear (or likely want to hear) after a sexual encounter. But sex should be just that – playful, exciting and, most of all, fun!
Tickle your fancy?
So you’ve shred the shackles of shame and want to give tickling a try. Where to begin? First and foremost, before adding anything new to the bedroom, it is vital to communicate your wants and needs to your partner.
- Enthusiastic consent: Some people just do not enjoy being tickled, and that’s okay! But having a chat about it first can avoid awkward and uncomfortable feelings on both sides. Ensuring your partner is happy and at ease in the bedroom should always be goal number one.
- Check in: Consent doesn’t happen just once, it’s a constant. Listen to your partner and their body. How are they reacting to what you’re doing? If they’re flinching or pulling away, check in. If they’re screaming and rolling their eyes with pleasure, check in! Continuous consent in the bedroom is so sexy. Asking “Do you like that?” and “Do you want more?” can skyrocket the sexual energy in the room. So keep checking in!
- Safe word: Tickling can cause people to lose control of themselves -- and if memory serves, screaming stop as children never really stopped the tickler because as much as we fight it, our bodies have a mind of their own. Having a safe word can ensure your partner has an “out”, and ensures the experience will never reach an unbearable stage. Using a simple “Stop!” or “Enough!” will suffice. If you’re role playing, the world is your oyster! You can pick any random word that is sure to make your partner laugh to extend the mood.
- Touch: Start slow and light, see how your partner responds, and move from there. Playing with different speeds, variations (and body parts!) is what makes tickling so intimate and fun. Whether you’re the tickler or the ticklee, explore your partner’s body and, most importantly, have fun!
Just the tickle
Tickling can be integrated into your foreplay, too. You can tickle your partner’s underarms while kissing to create a fun and exciting mood, or even integrate tickling into sex by incorporating feathers or other tickle instruments (hair, cotton swab, feather duster, etc) during the act to tease your partner and draw out their pleasure.
Other ways to erotically tickle your partner include:
- Blowing softly in someone’s ear
- Licking around the outer ear and earlobe.
- Playing with their hair or tracing their hairline to invoke a “chilly” feeling.
- Blowing down the back of their neck and spine.
- Pinching, licking, or nibbling on their toes.
Tickling can look different for everybody, so relax and have fun with it! All that matters is your and your partner’s pleasure. Now go forth and tickle!