A scoop of Vanilla, please

Contrary to popular belief, vanilla sex does not mean boring or ‘not kinky’ sex. Vanilla sex is all about the vibe! It’s not what you do in the bedroom, it’s how you do it. Vanilla sex is all about intimacy and connection, it’s about sharing your space and energy with someone else by taking it slow, being gentle and making them feel connected to you on a deeper, more intimate level.

Don’t yuck someones yum

So why do people shy away from vanilla sex? Or more accurately why are people so scared to admit that they like (or even prefer) vanilla sex? It’s all about the misconceptions surrounding vanilla sex - you could ask a hundred people what vanilla sex is, and you’ll get a hundred different answers! Vanilla isn’t strictly missionary with intense eye contact, it’s sex fueled by emotion and connection, but since our views on sex come from the world around us (whether that’s from parents, school, religion, culture, media or porn) what sex should and shouldn’t look like is shaped from external forces. We’ve come to believe that sex should be passionate, rough, and heady. Not words often associated with vanilla sex, and since no one wants to come across as boring (especially in the bedroom,) people are hesitant to admit that they like it. By reshaping ideas around vanilla sex, we can shed the shame and embrace it for what it is - good fucking sex! The key to good sex is ensuring you and your partner are getting your needs met. So communication is vital. Talking about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom is the first step in having an envy worthy sex life!

Savor the flavor

So how exactly do you achieve the vanilla sex ‘vibes?’ First and foremost, forget the notion that it has to look a certain way! Almost all sexual acts can be vanilla if the intent behind it is to foster that connection. A man and woman having sex in doggy while he pulls her hair doesn’t seem like it could be vanilla - but what if he’s also kissing her neck and telling her she’s beautiful? Oral sex with intense eye contact? Vanilla. Handcuffed to the bed while your partner explores your body with tender touches? Vanilla AF. As long as you and your partner are having a good time and getting what you want out of the exchange, who cares what you call it - or what other people think! Foodies know that vanilla is a complex flavor and one that many, many people enjoy. So go out and have all the vanilla sex you want! The only people that are boring are those judging from outside the club.

Lick it up!

So you’re into vanilla sex but want to add an extra dash? We’ve compiled a list of activities you can add into your repertoire to mix things up in the bedroom if you’re scared of going stale.

Dry Humping

We know what you’re thinking, why would you dry hump when you could just have sex? We hear ya! But there’s something fun and frisky about behaving like teenagers in lust - so why not fully commit? Roleplay that you’re hiding from your parents with your crush in the TV room or take it to the car and pretend you’ve just been dropped off from a first date and can’t bear to go inside. It’s all about the energy, the needy “I just can’t keep my hands off of you” vibes!

Making Out

Normalize adults having a pash! Spend extra time just kissing your partner during sex or even better when fully clothed during foreplay. Ramp up the energy by nibbling on their ears or whispering sweet nothings to them. By spending some time centering your attention on each other without wandering hands, when the time comes for clothes to come off the sexual tension will be palpable. Sometimes restricting touch is sexier than getting touched!

Light Bondage

Take turns restricting the others hands and spending time exploring each other's bodies with soft kisses and sensual touches. Work slowly starting from their feet and working your way up. Again, it’s about building up the sexual energy and connecting with your partner. Being restrained allows you and your partner to make everything about the other person!

Sensual Massage

If you’re feeling really experimental, whip out some oil and give each other sensual massages! Start with your partner on their front and work your way up from the feet to their back, neck, and arms. Be sure to take special care around their erogenous zones, teasing out the pleasure! Then get them to turn onto their back and work the opposite way, down from the shoulders, arms and down to their feet again. Lastly massage and tease their genitals before moving onto oral or penetration!

Vanilla sex is intimate and sexy! Don’t be shy to shout your desires from the rooftops. Now take a lick and get into it!