Besties, batteries, and boundaries: Should you lend out your vibe?

Maybe you’ve raved about your new favourite vibrator to your best mate. Maybe they’ve confessed they were this close to buying it but couldn’t quite justify the price. And maybe, because you’re a generous, top-tier friend, you’ve thought, “Should I just lend them mine?”

It's a reasonable question. Sex toys ain’t cheap, and the good ones are worth every cent. But when the temptation to spread the joy meets the reality of hygiene and safety, it’s worth pausing for a moment.

So... Can you actually share a sex toy with a friend? Our friends at Girls Get Off weigh in.

The expert: “Nope.”

Some health experts would prefer you didn’t. Dr. Jennifer Wider, a women’s health specialist, told Cosmopolitan, “Sharing vibrators and sex toys with friends is never a good idea.”

Why? There’s the ick factor, sure, but more seriously, Dr. Wider points out that toys can transmit infections, including Hepatitis A, HIV, and other STIs, especially if they’re not properly cleaned or protected.

Basically, it’s not just about vibes. It’s about viruses.

The more nuanced “maybe”

But not everyone sees it as a strict no-go. Sex educator Elise Schuster, co-founder of OkaySo, spoke to Refinery29 and took a more flexible stance. While she acknowledged there is a risk, she also believes that with the right materials and some common sense, sharing can be done safely.

The key, according to Schuster, is that material matters. High-quality toys made from medical-grade silicone are much easier to disinfect properly than cheaper ones made from porous materials. And yes, that means not all toys are created equal when it comes to share-ability.

If you are going to share

First, clean your toy thoroughly before and after every use. That’s solid advice whether you’re sharing or not. Warm water and gentle soap will usually do the trick, but for battery-powered toys or if you want a little extra reassurance, a purpose-made toy cleaner is a great shout.

Next, condoms are your friend. If the toy is insertable, like a dildo, rabbit, or anything designed to go inside, popping a condom over it can provide an easy barrier. It’s especially useful if you’re sharing the toy during the same session. If there’s a longer gap between uses and the toy has been properly cleaned, condoms aren’t strictly necessary, but it’s still an option if you want that added layer of safety.

What about STIs?

Dr. Jill McDevitt, a sexologist interviewed by Well+Good, explains that sharing toys with someone who has an STI does increase the risk of transmission, especially during back-to-back use. However, if the toy is made from non-porous materials like medical-grade silicone, it’s been properly washed, and you wait at least 24 hours between uses, the risk is significantly lower. Translation: safety is about the how, not just the who. <link to: https://www.wellandgood.com/lifestyle/sharing-sex-toys-health-risks>

So what's the verdict?

If you’re using high-quality, non-porous toys, cleaning them thoroughly, and being smart about timing and condom use, sharing your sex toy with a friend isn’t off the table. But communication and consent, just like with any other part of sex, are key.

Because sure, borrowing a dress is one thing. Borrowing a vibrator? That takes a whole different level of friendship... And a little extra hygiene.

Girls Get Off is dedicated to sexual wellness for her, normalising female pleasure with life-changing products. Enjoy fast and discreet delivery while exploring their range of premium sex toys, vibrators, water-based lubes, and libido supplements. For women, by women, Girls Get Off is changing the conversation about sexual wellness - and they welcome you to own your pleasure and take your bedroom self-love and confidence to new heights with premium pleasure products designed by real women, for real women.