Ah, women's pleasure, that mysterious uncharted territory... At least that's what guys seem to think, amirite? The truth is, women's pleasure is so un-talked-about that many women don't actually understand what an orgasm is, let alone whether they've had one.
There's still a pervasive grin-and-bear-it attitude toward women's pleasure, where women themselves are told to just grit their teeth and power through while men enjoy themselves. At some point, apparently, women will start to enjoy themselves too - who knows when, or how, or what it's going to take, but we're assured it'll happen if we're just patient. That may sound archaic, but in many cultures and societies, it's still the unfortunate norm.
Forget that! You deserve to take control of your own pleasure, and that starts with education. If you’ve never had an orgasm, aren’t entirely sure if you’ve had one, have made a mess but felt no fireworks, or are just here to learn, welcome! This is your no-fluff, all-fun guide to what an orgasm really is, brought to you by the experts (in every way) at Girls Get Off.
According to the science-y folks over at the American Psychological Association, an orgasm is "when the peak of pleasure is achieved, marked by the release of tension and rhythmic contractions of the perineal muscles, anal sphincter, and pelvic reproductive organs."
For people with vaginas, a big-O means more than just a racing heart - it also involves contractions in the vaginal and anal muscles, typically happening once per second for around five to eight pulses.
The best part? Orgasms can last anywhere from 20 to 35 seconds, and in some cases, may come with a side of female ejaculation.
Let’s clear up the confusion. According to sexologist Morgan Penn, "Contrary to popular belief, [female ejaculation or squirting] is not pee, and it's not an orgasm. The clear, odourless fluid expelled during squirting comes from the urethral tube and surrounding 'sponge.' This happens due to the erectile and glandular tissues in the area, which can build up and expel fluid after a rush of blood creates engorgement."
Translation? Arousal increases blood flow to your urethral glands, fluid collects, and - bam - squirt city. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve had an orgasm.
Orgasms are amazing, but they don’t always show up to the party - especially during penetrative sex.
A Durex study of 2,000 adults revealed that 40% of women don’t orgasm during penetration. Meanwhile, only 10% of men report the same issue.
Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate, told Cosmopolitan that "the overwhelming majority" of people with vaginas need clitoral stimulation - either solo or combined with penetration - to climax.
But here’s the thing: while orgasms are fun, they’re not the be-all and end-all of pleasure. You can have an incredibly fulfilling sex life even without reaching climax every time.
Orgasms come in all shapes and sizes, triggered by all sorts of things: Vibrators, nipple play, oral sex, even dreams. And let’s not forget the core-gasm (yes, some people can orgasm from working out!).
What works best depends on you. Maybe it’s a mix of oral and penetration, maybe it’s nipple play, or maybe it’s your trusty vibrator doing all the heavy lifting.
Hormones can also play a role. Some people find that their arousal levels fluctuate throughout their menstrual cycle, making orgasms easier (or harder) to achieve. Age, stress, and overall health can also be factors.
Bottom line: Orgasms aren’t one-size-fits-all, and they certainly don’t look like the dramatic performances in movies. The best way to figure out what works? Experiment and have fun!
When you’re on the orgasm train, your body drops plenty of hints:
Your heart races.
Your breathing becomes irregular.
Some people experience a tingling sensation or even a slight ringing in the ears.
You might feel super focused on what's happening in your body, and not have any sense of what's going on outside of what you're feeling.
Then comes the grand finale: An intense build-up of pressure, followed by a sudden, satisfying release. But here’s the kicker: Not all orgasms are mind-blowing. If you’re expecting an "I need to lie down for an hour" moment every single time, you might be missing the more subtle ones. Some are explosive, while others are like a quick, sweet bite of chocolate - still delightful, just different.
<subhead> How many times can I orgasm in one session?
According to experts, the sky’s the limit! Some people can experience up to 20 orgasms in a row. But honestly, who’s counting? In the Girls Get Off community, some women have reported double-digit big-O’s in one session, while research has found that some women have had up to 100 in one very steamy encounter. Whichever way you choose to experiment with big-Os, Girls Get Off is on your side, and so are their toys.
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