Running into your hometown ex over the holidays

You travel home for the holidays, thinking about nothing more dramatic than your mother's Christmas dinner menu, a nostalgic drive past your old school, and maybe a quiet drink with your high school mates. Then suddenly there they are. Your hometown ex. The person you once loved with your whole teenage chest. The person who broke your heart or shaped it or left a permanent little tattoo on it. (Or all three.)

Even if you have moved on, even if you are thriving, even if you are absolutely sure you never want to revisit that relationship, seeing them in the wild can hit like a snowball to the face. Old emotions do not ask permission to show up. They just kick the door in wearing a fuzzy Santa hat.

For some people, running into an ex is mildly awkward but manageable. A polite hello, a slightly too-long hug, a conversation about where life has taken you both. For others, it is a full emotional ambush. You might feel nostalgic, angry, anxious, hopeful, sad, jealous, confused or unexpectedly attracted all over again. You might feel these emotions all at once, which is frankly rude of them, but entirely normal.

The holiday season intensifies everything! You are in familiar places, surrounded by old versions of yourself, and maybe a little sleep deprived from battling the family guest room. Your brain is primed for reflection, and your ex is a living reminder of who you used to be. No wonder your feelings flare up like someone plugged your heart into a string of LED lights.

So what do you do if those feelings start stirring again? First, take a beat. Feelings are not instruction manuals, and they are definitely not prophecies. You can acknowledge an old spark without needing to relight the whole bonfire. Ask yourself what is really going on. Did you feel something because you miss them? Or because you miss the version of you that existed back then? Are you longing for the relationship or longing for familiarity during a stressful season?

It is also worth remembering that your ex is possibly/probably doing their own internal holiday spiral. You both have history, sure, but you are also both people who have grown, changed, and lived entire lives since you last dated. If you do talk, keep it grounded. You do not need to perform confidence or pretend everything is perfect. You also do not need to give them a guided tour of your personal growth. A simple, real conversation is fine.

And yes, it is possible that a little chemistry will flicker to life again. You might catch feelings, because history is powerful. If that happens, check in with yourself before doing anything impulsive. Would reconnecting serve the person you are now? Or would it just scratch an old itch that will flare up all over again once the Christmas lights come down?

If you decide to keep your distance, that is allowed. Protecting your peace is a legitimate holiday tradition. If you decide to reconnect, take it slow. You are not obligated to restart anything just because a moment felt intense. You are also not forbidden from exploring something new if it genuinely feels healthy and mutual. Just make sure you are making a choice, not reacting to a feeling shaped by nostalgia, stress or the emotional blender that is your hometown.

Holiday encounters can be sweet, weird, healing, messy, or even (surprisingly) clarifying. Whatever you choose to do can be handled with honesty and care. And if you need a little reminder of who you are now and what you actually want, hop back on HUD App when you get home. Your present life and future connections deserve just as much attention as the ghosts of relationships past.